Thursday, September 16, 2010

Summer of '03 - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - The Journey






Miranda Welsh was just an ordinary girl. Until, she went on her first camping trip. She never..... Well, let's just say she would always remember that day.






I am 14 years old. I hate camping and I hate trees, and most importantly I hate everything nature! But, the summer of '03 changed me. I learned to live on my own. I learned that I don’t need anyone to survive, other than myself.






We are going camping in 3 days. UGHHH. I hate this! Why ME!?






"MOM! No I won't. NO NO NO!!", I scream.






"Yes you will. It'll be fun. You and Alex will have a great time.", She replied, in a calm voice.






Alex is my brother. 9 years old. Clueless for everything.










It's the next morning. I wake up, walk to the bathroom and I smell this horrible forest smell. Eww. I ask my mom what the smell is. She says that she got new air freshner to get me ready for the trip. Gee, thanks Mom. I'm done taking my shower and walk downstairs and I'm all packed. Dad says that we'll leave at 10:30. It's 9:45.






It's 10:25. I'm loading my bag into car. 4 days of nature, just nature. Great.










La La la la la.






Headphones are in my ear. Always. I'm in the car and we're driving to Blue Rock State Park, in Nevada. My brother is sitting there, playing with his silly bands. Kids...... Fine. I have some too.






Anyway, Dad says we're almost there. I put away my iPod and start reading. Mom told me not to bring any electronics, but how could I not? So, I just brought my iPod. But, I left my cell phone at home. It was a regret, but eh.






We are there. Well, not to the campsite, but at the information desk. He gets the site number. We start driving again. There it is site #13. Does the number 13 bother you? Not me. I don't care much. Well, back to my fun summer trip. Yawn. Dad and Mom set up the tent. There is a HUGE forest right next to our campsite, and it surrounds our entire place. Uhhh...






"Come on honey! We're all set up! Come look!", Mom eagerly calls me over.






"Yupp.", I say with an annoyed look in my eye.






"Hey! Your attitude better improve miss.", my Dad says.






"Yes Dad. Sorry. I just really don't want to be here.", I say






I think back to 3 days before our camping trip. It was my fight with Melanie. It wasn't that bad a fight. Just a little disagreement, that soon turned into a fight. While in class, we talked about our summer plans. I told her that we were going camping in a tent and she said, "Oh, ok. Cool."


Then I was complaining to her for about 15 minutes about how I hate nature and just camping in general. Apparently, she loves nature. That's how the disagreement started and so did the fight.






My dad starts blabbing again about our trip We are going to have a great time. Tonight we are roasting marshmallows over the campfire. Tomorrow, we are taking a hike in the forest. Hope you brought your running shoes, because your gonna be climbing a lot of rocks.", he tells me the schedule and has a smile on his face. More of an evil looking smile.






My brother tells me he is excited for the hike. He likes adventures so, I'm not surprised. Well, it's nightfall, and the 3 of them are out there roasting the marshmallows, and I'm sittin' in the tent. Bored, MAD that Melanie won't talk to me, and scared to go hiking. I hope I don't get lost or anything. Boy, would I HATE that!






Mom and Dad suggest we go to bed. "Alright", I say and head off. Lights out.










"AAHHHHHHHH!" I wake up in the middle of the night.


"Sweetie, what's wrong?", asks my mom.


"I had the most terrible nightmare.", I reply.


She says, "Ok, if you're alright, go back to bed."


I say Ok, and lie back down. Just to let you know, I imagined that I was alone in the forest on the ground, just laying there, and I saw something. Wait, wait, wait. That can't be true, can it? Well, tomorrow is our hiking day. Oh, the things we dream of...






4 comments:

  1. The voice is strong. I admit, the double introduction confused me. You began with third person, switched to first, and then created a flashback.
    Consider beginning this piece with the car ride. Your character can always think back to the fight with her friend.

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  2. Thank you for the feedback. I will make changes.

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  3. I thought the story was great. You did switch back a lot but i found it interesting. You should continue writing this story.

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  4. I agree that it had great voice.

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